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Gymnastics
Revolution
PARENTS |
     
 
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How To Parent a Champion
By: Brian Bakalar
“Am I doing the right thing with my aspiring gymnast?” Many
parents are plagued by this question as their daughter
progresses through the sport of gymnastics. What means are
available to the parent to ensure their child’s success in
the sport? The following is a collection of thoughts from
the parents and coaches of many gymnasts over the last
several years.
Photography By:
Philip Morton |
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| Parents
love to be involved. Setting up a carpool, organizing a
picnic, or even helping to run a meet, is essential to
let your child experience the sport in its entirety!
Your child is learning that here is an activity that is
important to both child and parent. However, you must
beware the pitfalls of becoming over-involved. You
don’t want to alter the relationships that naturally
develop between the athletes, and between the coaches
and athletes. Try to remain the “support mechanism” for
your child – there to help ensure that they are learning
the right lessons, there to help ensure that they are
taking part. But at all costs, avoid becoming a
spokesperson for your child. Avoid becoming your
child’s lawyer. Teach your child to deal with
situations head on, and report on them later to a
parent, rather than expect the parent to “fix” whatever
comes up. Remember, most importantly, that you are the
supporter of the CHILD, not the career. The sport
belongs to your child. The games belong to your child.
The workouts and practices belong to your child. The
career belongs to your child. You are an observer, a
supporter, and the biggest fan. |
| Many parents blur the lines
between supporting their athlete, and working to help
their athlete’s career. This brings up the concept of
coaching at home. In the world of, say, baseball, to
play catch with your child, or to bring him or her to
the batting cages is one thing. But, to work on
specific plays, or teach your child when to steal a
base, is quite another. Now, you have wandered from
putting your child in a situation where he or she can
work on skills, to a situation where you are teaching
the skills. Skill development is the responsibility of
the coach. In the world of gymnastics, the lines are
even simpler. If you find yourself telling your child
that she is performing a skill incorrectly, or if you
find yourself suggesting that your child take
some time to practice at home, then you are coaching.
If you are spotting a skill in your living room, you
have crossed the line. If you find yourself coaching
your child from the outside windows of the gym, then you
have crossed the line. If you see your daughter
practicing a handstand, and challenge her to a contest,
then you are engaging her on her level, and in her
sport. This is appropriate! (Try not to injure
yourself though!) |
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One of the most important parts of
dealing with an athlete is accepting the program in
which he or she is enrolled. You wouldn’t sign a child
up for a math program, and then confuse her by telling
her that things aren’t being taught right. Similarly,
in gymnastics, you may be involved in a program that
stresses flexibility, or strength, or repetition, or
dance. It is important that you are in full
understanding of that approach, so that you can be on
hand to explain to your child why things are being done
in certain ways. There is nothing wrong with telling
your child to “ask your coach ‘why?’” There is,
however, a problem with telling your child that she
shouldn’t have to do things a certain way, and the
program is wrong for her. If you find yourself saying
these sorts of things, you should evaluate your program,
and decide if it is right for you and your daughter. |
| At the start of this article, the
concept of “goals” was brought up. Do you know what
your gymnasts’ goals are? Often, your own daughter’s
goals are quite different than you would expect. Does
she plan to pursue the sport in college? Does she plan
to move to a new level next year? Does she plan to
learn specific skills? If she has no answers, than she
may need help developing some goals. Keep in mind that
goals can and do change. Ask often! If she has
specific goals, be sure that you are aware of them, so
that you can be prepared to celebrate when they are
achieved, and prepared to console when times are tough.
Knowing your daughter’s goals will help you to
understand what she is going through. |
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While on the subject of celebrating
achievements, and consolation in the tougher times,
mention should be made of “effort vs. results.” Are you
the type of person who celebrates victories, or are you
the type who celebrates a game well played? Can you
recognize the difference between a competition where
your daughter fell from the beam 3 times, yet wins the
meet, and a competition where she performs her best
routines, but places 3rd? Sports,
inherently, celebrate the results. First place is the
winner, and nobody else wins that day. However, to
insure that sports are helping your child to develop,
you must recognize her efforts. You must recognize
improvement. You must recognize her successes, in every
form, not just in blue ribbons and gold medals. A good
competitive environment will teach your daughter that
results – first place finishes and trophies – are
byproducts of effort and commitment. Echo that
sentiment. |
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So how is it done? Look around you. Find the children
who are well-adjusted, and take note of their parents.
Talk to your daughter’s coaches. Know that they have a
“plan,” and let them do their job. Provide a
consistent, focused force in your child’s life, and be
your gymnast’s number one fan. Remember that unless she
is competing for a collegiate team or in the Olympics,
then your daughter has more on the line than high
scores. She’s developing the skills that she will need
in life. Beware the pitfalls of the overexcited
parent. You must keep your perspective on the sport,
and protect your daughter. And remember: whatever she
does, if it’s her very best, make it good enough for
you. |
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Tel: 203-798-8651